The docile tones of ‘Crank That’ by SoulJa Boy fill the air as Steve slowly unzips his Dakine High Roller board case, which he may or may not have fallen a sleep in last night after returning home from the pub. For some reason Steve’s 2010 limited edition blue Lib Tec Skate Banana is nestled quite cosily in his bed, and there is remnants of partially-eaten kebab everywhere. Steve cruises around his living room checking the snow and weather conditions for the day and decides multiple layers are the go for today. He exchanges his Burton p.js for his Snow Skins, remembering how good his muscles felt after wearing them the previous day, allowing him to throw some wicked shapes all night long on the dance floor with those two cute twins from Melbourne.
The cold kicks in and now layering is essential. Steve pulls on the Ice Breaker fleece his mum bought him for Christmas. It wasn’t quite the best of Vanilla Ice CD he was hoping for, but at least it was going to keep him warm. He then pulls up his Protec impact shorts, for those inevitable knuckles, before grabbing his 3XL Sessions Rocket pants, buckling his Burton studded belt just above the knees for maximum gangsta steeze, just like all the cool kids. With dreams of getting inverted in the Smiggins B.C, while his friends are conveniently at lunch, Steve grabs his Ortovox Avalanche beacon, Black diamond Shovel and Black Diamond probe, all of which fit nicely in his brand new Dakine Helipro pack, equipped with a CamelBak hydration system, with the winter upgrades; because he knows even the gnarliest of shredders gets parched from time to time.
Stepping out the door, Steve pulls up his neoprene face mask to battle the icy gusts pounding his mug as he heads to the bus stop ready for a massive day of riding. He finds a seat and flips down the hood of his Burton Sleeper hoodie and he dozes to some chilled out beats blasting through his obnoxiously large Skull Candy cans. The sudden holt of the bus arriving in the car park gets Steve up and moving and he pulls out his pimping set of Smith IOs from the safety of their hard goggles case and he breaths a sigh of relief as he sees that he’s packed the complete range of interchangeable lenses for whatever lighting or weather condition may arise, all of which will surely be utilised at some point in the day.
Catching his first chair for the day, Steve fields a call from one of his chump friends stuck in their 9-5 jobs. He doesn’t have time to fumble through multiple pockets to find his phone, so luckily he’s wearing his Giro Fuse helmet equipped with bluetooth and iPod compatibility. He’s been told only the coolest of cats rock these helmets, so he’s pretty stoked on his decision to buy one because as everyone knows, even if you can’t ride, at least look the part, which is probably more important in any case. As Steve dismounts the chair, his decision to purchase those O&E aluminium grip studs is vindicated by the increased control they give him, unlike previous days when reoccurring face plants were the order of the day. Despite this extra control, a pretty young thing distracts Steve, causing him to take out three or four Milo kids, and now the heat from the pair of Hothands Hand Warmers he had earlier popped into his newly Nikwaxed Dakine leather gloves, matched the embarrassing glow on his cheeks.
Steve’s done a few laps and he’s warmed up and it’s now time to hit the park. He’s watched the instructional DVD ‘Jumping with Jussi’ at least four times now, so is pretty certain he’s going to kill it. He tucks, he pops, he rotates and still a face plant greets him on the landing. If it weren’t for his Protec wrist guards, Steve would have been in a world of pain. Undeterred that the 12 ft monster got the better of him this time, Steve is convinced that cleaning up his edges with his Bakoda pocket stone, tweaking his stance with his Burton Bullet tool and reapplying a coat of Swix rub on wax will vastly improve his chances of a successful manoeuvre at his next attempt.
Steve decides that it’s time for a break and heads to the pub for some lunch to rest up for an afternoon of going large. Before setting foot in the place, he has to change into his lunchtime attire, which includes his Volcom New Era cap, set on a slight angle and his electric blue robotic Dragon sunnies to shield his peepers from the glare. Now he’s steezin’ for no reason. Before heading into the bar, he makes sure his board is locked down tight in the racks using his Burton board lock. There’d be nothing worse than having some sketchy grom nick his board that he had spent countless hours pimping out with only the raddest of stickers, making sure everyone knows just how gnarly he is on and off the mountain. After polishing off his $17.50 hot dog and schooner combo, Steve looks down at his JP Walker Prospects and horrified to learn that some one-piece-wearing gaper has slashed his bootlaces in the lift line, no doubt a double planker. Not a major setback however, as Steve is packing a set of O&E spare laces in his kit. Once the boot situation is on lock down, he’s had a bit of time to chill and check out the lunchtime talent, it’s time to gear up for the arvo session.
Returning to the racks and seeing his board is still there and safe, Steve reattaches his Kuu board leash and decides that the weather calls for his skullcap and high yellow lenses. The afternoon plays out superbly for Steve, finding a few nice powder stashes, finally killing it on that hit and even getting a number from a cutie on the chair. Steve catches the last chair for the day and then cruises down towards the car park, refits his New Era cap and headphones and settles in for the ride home. After he arrives back at his pad, Steve decides to get his gear ready for the following day before getting too comfortable. He grabs all his tools and sticks on his copy of ‘That’s it, That’s All’ and gets to work.
Trying to remember all the handy tips he'd received from a recent tuning seminar at the local shop Steve secures his board in his Burton tuning vices and gets to work with his Bakoda edge stone and Magne-traction edge tool repairing a bit of rail damage, as Travis Rice throws a huge backside 9 deep in the back country. Now that his edges are looking good, Steve gets to cleaning his base out with his Toko brushes and applies some Kuu base cleaner to get all the grime out. Once this is all done, he heats up his Vitora Tank Waxer and irons in a generous coat of Swix fluro wax. Once his board is scrapped using his Wintersteiger scraper and polished with his brushes he looks up just in time to catch Jeremy Jones breaking his nose after riding a massive ridgeline and planting his face in some ice.
Now that everything is ready to roll for tomorrow, Steve catches the end of the flick and settles into the couch for a sly session and decides to give that girl from the chair a buzz. Who knows what’s in store for Steve for the rest of the night and the following day, but being as accessorised as Steve is, we know he’ll be ready for anything.